10 + Social Media Mysteries

Being a late arrival to Social Media, I confess there are many things about the subculture I don’t quite get… and a few things that are a complete mystery to me… So in a moment of idleness I decided to make a list of my top 10 (actually more than 10) Social Media Mysteries… 

  1. The insatiable hunger to be liked by people you don’t know and may never meet.
  2. The belief that people want to see more pictures of you making pouty duck and fish faces.
  3. The people who find these pictures entertaining and click “like”, thus deceiving you into believing they like you and wish for you to continue making said faces.
  4. The comforting hypnotic delusion that all the people who follow you and like your pictures are real friends.
  5. The secret cloning programme where ladies are getting made up/over to look like the exact same prototype with a faded unibrow… and take the exact same selfie looking up into camera…cue duck face…
  6. The urge to argue with people you don’t know, can’t see, may never meet and frankly may not even like; in order to convince them on a point of view that changes absolutely nothing in the grand scheme.
  7. The people who spend their time reading articles and posts they don’t like, written by people they don’t know, about subjects they disdain, simply so they can take more time to insult the author, the subject and the write up and let us know how unimportant they think they all are. 

8a. The people who visit other people’s pages so they can hate their pictures and tell them how much they dislike them.

8b. The people who read comments written by the people in 8a and respond to them, thereby encouraging them to write more…

9a. The number of vacuous personalities in cyberspace with a huge following.

9b. The number of people who follow vacuous personalities, whom they despise, and diligently comment on everything that comes out of the void.

  1. The random strangers who believe they are your friends, tagging you and press ganging you into groups you don’t care about, to discuss causes and issues that are of absolutely no interest or relevance to you.

Bonus: The fact that you actually read this!

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